Seconds turn to minutes
minutes to days to years
no matter how much we absolve
night after night we succumb to fears
We are happy and then we are sad
some days we got everything in grip
while on others, we are in backseat
watching from hindsight our lives slip
We ain't all dull or doomed
it's only if you intrude
you will see how we exemplify things
and make of ourselves a fool
Tag: writers community
I am tired and I have work to do in the morning But the night just takes me over, nothing feels better I hope for strength for both of us And I secretly wish for your text But I know I've lost it
I am tired and I have work to do in the morning But the night is getting dizzy, bedding is too comfy I hope for strength for both of us And I secretly wish you never text But i know you'll do it anyway
I am tired and I have work to do in the morning But longer screen time disrupts my sleep cycle You are buried in the back of my mind, and deep down You know everything that it feels without I got things to tell, but I let you be, undisturbed
I am tired and it's cause I had a fulfilling day
Of simple things, nature, self love, work and breaks
I read, sketched, flexed, and fought your thoughts
I think you got across just too fast
No complaints, it's me and my unshaken heart
A strong wave stuck by
Destructing me and my house of cards
Perhaps it was the winter breeze
For which I prayed ten months long
It was a hazy reflection
Glossing over floating pieces in slo-mo
Like weary words of once a dearest
Exploded right over my face
Oh no! That was not any breeze
A turmoil it was, dressed like hailstorm
Got blurry sight, dust in eyes
Pain in heart that felt like dying
While the heart raced against the time
I ran, jumped, galloped to catch my cards
That's when the lightening bolt found me
And we burnt, me and my soaring parts
2022, you are brutal
You kill me
You despise me
And make me feel
As if everything I did
Wasted
My efforts
My hard earned
Back to square one
2022, thank you
For a raise
I didn't deserve
You challenged me
Bombarded with
Struggle
And Over-time
But that's what
Growth demands
2022, you're still here
Laughing at me
While I rant
But I ain't giving up
Beyond limits I
Rise
& Shine
My silver lining
On the other side
It's difficult explaining anybody why I must stay aloof
For nobody gets how I need to keep my heart safe
How important it is to not let it break
To not let any stranger create a wreck
I already got too much in my head space
My heart breaking with familiar ache
Ruins of days that still walk past by
Memories that never say goodbye
I don't know if anyone is capable of holding
The heart so tender a thing that it is
You need to be truly a man to know
How to hold a heart of gold
Of happy places
And magical dreams
Of sprinkles of sparkle
Of madness and sins
Of empty bottles
And broken hearts
Of everything devoid
Of healing scars
Of happiness in air
And pain in veins
Of repressed emotions
Of everything else in vain
Everytime I pull myself up
You come knocking with lilies
I peep through the keyhole
And I know how I love it
I'd been longing for flowers
you sell the best ones too
I abstain opening the doors
For I'd stopped buying from you
The last time you traded
roses full of thorns
Has still got me bruises
From things I still adorn
Yet I open the door
End up buying those lilies
Through my bleeding hand
Creeps in the willies
Some days I think I am pulling myself together
And then there are nights like these
When it starts taking over
I sit back up and start praying
The clock keeps rushing you see
my 6 hour alarm turned to 3
I don't know what else to write
Or do, or how to sleep
If I don't let go now,
I'll never.
If I don't hurt now,
I'll forever.
“Life is difficult. I had never expected it to be so beautiful and yet so brutal at the same time. Sometimes, I feel like ending. First, because I believe I have had my best, that thereโs no more good left to feel, or experience. The best has already happened, and anything less would be injustice to myself.
Nothing can replace โthe bestโ, right? And anything you get next, is like a compromise, itโs like the second best, itโs like less. And I do not want less. I do not want the next. I just need the best!
I do not wish to be explicit; I just want to pour out what it feels tonight. My greatest of fears is advancing. It feels like someoneโs putting a knife on your chest, and you bleed tears, and yet you smile, because you must! Itโs like imagining yourself destroying lives and then thinking that the world could do better off without you.
I just wanted to write this down, because this will stay, these emotions are strong enough to make a firm presence. I wish to come back to it, after years and see if it made sense, my fears and how my future self is going to face it. I just want to tell her, this will end. Life is just too small for the sufferings to last longer than you deserve to be in. I love you a lot, I love the person you are, and I love what you have done. I know it all, and it does make sense.”
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PS: I have felt this way and to anyone feeling the same, I just want to tell you, I love you, you’re precious. Things will be good. They’ve been for me. And they’ll be good for you too :’)
Edit 1: It’s almost 1.5 years, and I came back here just to say that things do change. I want to remind my older self that it is useless contemplating the things that hurt you over and again in your head, ’cause no matter what, if it is bound to happen it will happen. However, you do not know how it happens. In what circumstances. So, never play a situation in your head any more than needed. You never know things may turn out absolutely different. Just live in the present and focus on living it fully, wholeheartedly, and compassionately. When you actually face it, you will be so much liberated. And trust me, you are stronger than you think you are.
Unchained 