I have too many shits to give already
I don’t intend to give no more
Gone is the time when every little critique
Pricked me right to the core
I burn in fumes for a second
It pinches as it should
Yet I don’t let myself succumb to it
I save my fuel for the good
I remember the time I’d waste
Over guilts, mind at war
I rather be calm than impulsive
I know it’s not worth anymore
I’m trying to overlook harsh words
When it haunts back too loud
I put them in a poem
Someday I’d read out aloud
I know there’s no ill intention
But words are powerful my friend
They cut through and heal
They're everything you do or don’t intend
You might have had the worst day
like things didn't go as planned
like head hurts terribly
yet you advance
for it's all about commitment
to the work you signed up for
It's okay to sometimes defend yourself
for the inability to reach that mark
but if you're really committed
you'd move mountains to reach that far
I choose colourful pictures because these are candy days I've got an ocean to outpour a zillion emotions to save I've a colossal stretch of work many books awaiting to be read Thoughts to share and people to meet but work is probably insane Don't confound my occupied schedule as I compare it with candy days Days like these I love Days like these keep me sane
Its crazy how the world Can be and not be like we want Its crazy we try so hard To fit in But i think like this We are ourselves I am just me And you are just you They are just them Please excuse my writing Because it doesn't make sense right now But hey, you will come out of this One day And you'll be as proud of yourself As I am proud of you This time is struggle And we are fighters I will see you on the other side Of the victory ground. I wish I were there for you To make your short breaks worthwhile Refresh you in the little moment you got Help you push yourself a little more To make you feel you're beautiful inside out
(Enough of talking in the head)
*Time for SELF-love*
So I came here for writing a blog post, but settling up to write you a letter to let you know that it’s okay if you’ve had bad days in the recent past, there have been good ones too, and then there will be some better days. I am here to cheer you up because you always fail to acknowledge your self-worth in difficult times, or should I say every once in a while?
So, what are you worried for? Is work being a bitch? Are things around overwhelming and you find it difficult to engulf the sad reality? Have you watched a lot of news recently? Is somebody sick? Bad day at office? Name it, and I’ll know! Yea, a lot of things are going around in your head, but hey, remember who you are? You’re my supergirl! You’re going to make it.
I know you’ve been doing everything needed, more like the son of the family, and it’s tiring sometimes. The days are longer because though there is not much work, there are trainings and projects you’re enrolled to. It’s boring working on those NRT scenarios, and it’s a bundle of joy to deploy your angular app in docker.
You’re appreciated, you’re warned. You’re happy, and you’re stressed. That’s how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it? You just need to keep sailing in this endless sea, until you reach a shore, and find your purpose, maybe?
You might never have imagined how working for office during the day, and freelancing the night would turn out to be. Thanks to the Almighty, you’ve had enough to pay your bills, and carve a smile on your parents’ lips. Ah, see how you make them proud! I’ve loved you, always. Yes, I do hate a part of you, but let me just love all of you tonight.
You’re probably more upset because your ironman is unwell. But hey, let me remind you of the first poetry you wrote for him, about the lucky girl and the lost thing. You got me? Okay, it’s been like a decade, and we didn’t yet find what’s lost, but we learned to live with it. Things go from good to bad, sometimes worse too, but your ironman is going to fight all of it, you know that too.
Let’s bring a smile back on your face with that lovely compo!
The Lucky Girl and The Lost Thing
When she was born
There was happiness all around
Those charming and delightful days
Took all problems away
Each one in the family
Loved that lucky baby
She was cute and pretty
And a bit crazy
Every demand her parents' fulfilled
Provided knowledge, made her skilled
It was quite a smooth sailing
When something started fluctuating
What was it that went wrong
The ‘happy tune’ changed to a sad song?
When and how and what and why
Here I’m to tell thy
The one whom she loved the most
The one who taught her
To make tea and toast,
The one who loved her
From his inner core
Had lost something!
I still wonder who he was
For whom she cared, and the cause?
How losing of that particular thing
A reason for her to be in twinge?
The cute smile disappeared
The craziness vanished
The fun & frolic, those amazement
All became a matter of past
The lucky girl with no reasons to cry
Now searches reasons to smile
I don't know why
She's busy searching for that lost thing
She prays, she laments
But now she’s tired of everything
One day I saw her in the street
I luckily got a chance to meet,
To find out the reasons for her agony
I wished she likes my company
We had a chat for an hour or so
And then finally I asked in a voice lil’ low
“What's the reason you’re in pain??”
I asked her thrice, again and again
“Who's it you love the most, and so does he?
I'm your friend, you can tell me"
Lil’ drops of tears I could see in her eyes
Within seconds, gently she said "my paa"
Oh my God how sweet of her
I couldn’t stop even myself listening to the girl,
But there was something I still didn’t get
I knew not about that lost thing yet!
“But what has he lost dear
When, how, and where?”
Listening my words, she shattered
Dropping in my arms, HEALTH she uttered
Now I came to know the reality
What I used to call the reasons for her agony
She loves her paa, and he’s lost his health
And as you all know, that’s what is wealth
So all my dear friends, a request to you
Let’s pray for her father and the girl too
Give them just, just 2 precious minutes of yours
May God do everything well, as better as before…
(Dated: Someday in the Summer of 2012)
So, hey girl, this is just a reminder that you’ve been stronger than you’ve ever imagined. You’re made of fire lumps, and magic dust, and poetries and unfinished tales. This time shall pass. Remember, there are good days, and there are bad days.
Do you still need more love? Seek love out here ❤
I had reached the very phase of my adulthood that kept me from doing the things I ought to be doing. Yes, there was a lack of urge to do. To be. To feel.
I think I lacked a push, a trigger that could mold me today for a better tomorrow but stimulus ain’t no magic wand. Or maybe they weren’t strong enough for me to hold on to my beliefs. I wasn’t focusing. Not at all. I was reluctant to even start because it always felt like I have already missed behind something important. It didn’t come from the inside, the voice that would tell me reasons for my existence, for the reasons I belong here, all went into mutism.
And then I understood this. I don’t really need to do it right. I just need to do something. It will eventually turn alright. Yesterday was the day-1. I had a good day. Some disappointments, some regrets and an urge to do something better today! I do not care if I have my exams tomorrow; I’m doing what I love and I’m so in love with what I’m doing.