If I Think Anymore

I am not to be called insane
Anyone would have done the same
Is the vertebral column misplaced?
Or there's oxygen deficiency in the brain?

The absurd past, I don't want to touch
Cause it troubles, troubles so much
Am I lost again?
In pain in strain, oh yeah?

I know that I'm not okay
I'm fighting with myself
And if I think anymore
I might burst the nerves of my head

Take Charge

For once I thought,
It’s enough.
The pain.
The anguish.
The lamenting.
Let it just be done.
For once and for all.
And cherish the beauty of now.
The power it holds.
Life could be messy right now.
But it couldn’t be any better too.
Things might be shady.
But when has it not been?
If not this, the other.
And well, we know now,
it’s never easy peasy.
So just stop complaining.
And embrace what you have.
Many crave for this comfort.
Work their ass off for this job.
Many save lakhs just to visit home.
Or wait tirelessly for a vacation.
Feel blessed for today.
For you cannot hold all of world’s joy at once.
And that is okay.
It shouldn’t stop you from being grateful.
I wanted to write something utterly beautiful today.
But anyway, not every day could be a writers’ day.
So I just pour the thoughts in blank verse.
And let them find their meaning.
While I discover mine.

PS: Feeling confident, sharing positive vibes πŸ™‚

Shades of Being Tired

I am tired and I have work to do in the morning 
But the night just takes me over, nothing feels better
I hope for strength for both of us
And I secretly wish for your text
But I know I've lost it

Exactly two months later.

I am tired and I have work to do in the morning 
But the night is getting dizzy, bedding is too comfy
I hope for strength for both of us
And I secretly wish you never text
But i know you'll do it anyway

Five months hence.

I am tired and I have work to do in the morning
But longer screen time disrupts my sleep cycle
You are buried in the back of my mind, and deep down
You know everything that it feels without
I got things to tell, but I let you be, undisturbed

10 months down the line.


I am tired and it's cause I had a fulfilling day
Of simple things, nature, self love, work and breaks
I read, sketched, flexed, and fought your thoughts
I think you got across just too fast
No complaints, it's me and my unshaken heart

Cold Days

A strong wave stuck by
Destructing me and my house of cards
Perhaps it was the winter breeze
For which I prayed ten months long

It was a hazy reflection
Glossing over floating pieces in slo-mo
Like weary words of once a dearest
Exploded right over my face

Oh no! That was not any breeze
A turmoil it was, dressed like hailstorm
Got blurry sight, dust in eyes
Pain in heart that felt like dying

While the heart raced against the time
I ran, jumped, galloped to catch my cards
That's when the lightening bolt found me
And we burnt, me and my soaring parts

The Birthday Letter

I love to write birthday notes and letters for my friends. However, this year, I wrote one for myself. This was when I was super busy at work, but needed self love to the most πŸ™‚

Happy birthday hera,

Today you turn 26. It doesn't feel good to say though, but you are aging like a fine wine, just keep the fats away, will you? You look beautiful, however. I am just trying to say that you need to work on your lifestyle. You cannot sit upto 12-16 hours on your computer and expect a healthy life, you know what I am saying?

Complains apart, I wanna tell you that you are my star. You have come a long way my girl, and I know you'll do good. Just hold on, okay. This too shall pass. And can I reuse the quote - 'what doesn't kills you makes you stronger'. Besides, congratulations for making it to a new job in 2022. You genuinely deserve this raise, so stop misjudging yourself. And you are doing fine. Just think about your learning curve, it's advancing exponentially can't you see? Let me tell you a secret, this is just the beginning of the good times; your good days. You are going to be rock strong, believe me I know the emotions inside of you and how they keep trying yo pull you to the bottom, but hey, I know you. I know you are not ordinarily ordinary, okay. You be good. You are gonna be something. Something that someone can look up to.

I got so much of deep talking to do, maybe we should have a call someday. It would save either of us our time. But for tonight, sending you love, hugs, and simply positive vibes πŸ™‚

2022

2022, you are brutal
You kill me
You despise me
And make me feel
As if everything I did
Wasted
My efforts
My hard earned
Back to square one

2022, thank you
For a raise
I didn't deserve
You challenged me
Bombarded with
Struggle
And Over-time
But that's what
Growth demands


2022, you're still here
Laughing at me
While I rant
But I ain't giving up
Beyond limits I
Rise
& Shine
My silver lining
On the other side

Gold

It's difficult explaining anybody why I must stay aloof
For nobody gets how I need to keep my heart safe
How important it is to not let it break
To not let any stranger create a wreck

I already got too much in my head space
My heart breaking with familiar ache
Ruins of days that still walk past by
Memories that never say goodbye

I don't know if anyone is capable of holding
The heart so tender a thing that it is
You need to be truly a man to know
How to hold a heart of gold

Independence

I haven’t written a blog post on our Independence day until this time. I don’t know, perhaps growing old makes you feel a tad bit more responsible towards being a true citizen. Our schools did their jobs well for instilling the sense of nationalism in our hearts. We are proud of our country, no matter what we say, and everytime the beat goes on, “Sare Jahan Se Acha, Hindustan Hmara” we beam with a different kind of feeling, one that is inexplicable.

I think about everything and everyone I can, who fought their lives because of which I am sitting here peacefully at my table today and typing this piece. Being free would vary, in literal sense. But just imagine, not being able to express your voice, or having to follow a dictator, or keeping shunn with a law that you are against. What we have now, I sure do not take that for granted and I am aware of the struggle that went behind it. I am also aware of the struggle ongoing to make sure I can keep safe. I am aware that I am equally a part of this mob, and I know my share of work and I am on it.

I believe it will never feel enough, whatever we do. However, knowing that we are trying to contribute, in whatever possible way, is all the matters.

Cheers to 75 years of freedom, and beyond.

Happy Independence Day to all my Indian friends, fellow bloggers, and family.

Streets Of Dalidovinds

In the miniatures of mirage
the hot sands, the gusty winds
He was an ocean I discovered
Midway of deserted Dalidovinds

In darkest atmosphere
In fear, in spooky blends
He was the light I received
To help me strive till the end

The one who stood by
In happiness, in sorrows
He was the silent keeper
In emptiness, in hollows

He was a wonder to know
An illuminating soul, untamed
He's all I loved too much
A thousand smiles in his name







Originally written in 2014